Chewy
There are very few things that aren’t improved through drinking. Social gatherings are more tolerable. A roommate’s friends are more interesting and attractive. Ideas you were doubtful of before suddenly become brilliant and have a somewhat pressing urgency. Certain food is ridiculous appetizing and needs to be consumed in equally ridiculous quantities.
And some food should be avoided – especially if you’re closing in on the point of no return.
Everyone has their drunk food of choice but through time, experience and my finely tuned powers of observation, I’ve been able to compile a list of some of the food I would caution all away from consuming, particularly if you’re travelling. There is this tendency for travellers to just do whatever their new best friends tell them to do but the thing about partying with friends is, regardless of if it’s a thousand kilometres from home or at the local watering hole, there are few things better than getting someone to throw up.
Lasagna – At first you might doubt this because lasagna is universally accepted as a delicious and amazing food from the land of greatness, Italy, but don’t confuse sober you from stumblesaurus you. There’s a different trigger for everyone, be it the texture of the meat, the odour that wafts up from whatever cheese is included or the way the noodles sit in your mouth and fail to go down your throat that easily. Even the name sounds more like the sound you’re likely to make when it comes back up. Lasagna.
Oysters – If you’re stupid enough to need to be told not to eat oysters while drunk, you’re probably going to do it anyways. Need more convincing? Fine – slimy fish goup that always smells like an unwashed scullery maid. It may be an aphrodisiac, but with your confidence at an all time high thanks to whatever booze you’ve aligned yourself with, there’s no need to double down.
Paella – I’ll put this simply – it looks like someone already beat you to it… vomiting that is.
Okonomiyaki – While this varies depending on the ingredients (much like regular pizza), many kinds you’ll find at your local izakaya, particularly if you’re in the Kansai area, are affectionately known as octopus pizza. If I was starting out a night or wanting friends to try something different I’d always get okonomiyaki and then tell them afterwards what it was – but never at the end of a nomihodai session. I’m not that cruel.
Haggis – Entrails stuffed and boiled in a sheep’s stomach… yeah. Aside from proving the Scots really are a cheap and tasteless people, haggis may be the only food that you’d need to be drunk in order to eat.
