Chewy
The last time I was at an all inclusive resort I took a step back and really looked at the people who surrounded me. The majority of the people who do the resort thing have one thing in common: they put relaxation ahead of exploration but not above stuffing themselves silly and getting wasted off their gourd. And who can blame them – it’s awesome!
On closer inspection and with a little help from a wildlife poster I saw hanging on a wall, I couldn’t help but notice many of the vacationers closely resembled animals in both physical appearance and mannerisms. To say this provided me with endless amusement for the remainder of my trip, and even now that I’m back home, would be an understatement. Try it the next time you are chilling on a beach somewhere with a drink in your hand – you really can’t go wrong!
Sea Lion
You know exactly the kind I’m talking about here. They are the ones who seem to just lay on the sand, only moving to roll over into the water or stuff themselves with more sustenance. Physically, they are not exactly prime specimens yet they do feel the need to wear as little as possible… and not really care! Well good for them – the sea lion cannot help how large they are and as far as lethargic beach goers are, they have it made.
Whenever someone pictures a peacock, inevitably it’s the males so this comparison will apply to both male and female travellers because unlike in the animal kingdom, showing off is not limited to one gender. They’re the ones who strut around like they own the place, flirting with everyone who walks and can be quite aggressive about it. They quite often have tattoos, have bodies they aren’t afraid to flaunt (and for good reason) and are a lot of fun to watch. Hooray for peacocks!
Jaguar
Resorts really do bring out all types, including those that seem to be on completely opposite schedules from the rest of society. I was going to go with an owl or hawk but a nocturnal cat seems to better embody the lurking quality that the late night crowd embodies. The older I get, the less I want to be up super late, even on vacation and especially in a place that gets ridiculously hot, so when I am up late and I encounter those that seem to be permanently lurking in the bushes, even in plain sight, I am reminded of creepy the night is.
Drunken Bear
It’s not enough to be a bear, these ones are wasted. They make a lot of noise, stumble around and are, well, drunk most of the time. As far as physical appearance goes, they would probably be in decent shape if they didn’t drink as much as they do. They are pretty grumpy when they wake up, super happy after a few drinks in them and then belligerent as the night winds down. These are the types that keep your own alcoholism in check!
