First Time With a Mojito – Nectar of the Gods

I’ve had a few beverages in my day – some delicious, some gag-reflex testing – and while I always seem to come back to the old standards, there are times when I venture out and try something new. I’m pretty conservative with my tastes because I like my times out to be enjoyable and nobody wants to be or be with the puker. I save that for my alone time, thank you very much.

Many of you may find it surprising then that I have not tried a mojito until very recently. Yes, it’s sad but true and I imagine there are a few other drinks out there, not the ones you say “I’ve never heard of that one” but very common ones that I should be embarrassed to admit never tasting (or maybe I just don’t remember, wink wink). When it comes to the mojito though, I have only one thing to say:

Where have you been all my life?

Seriously? Could it be any more delicious? I mean, first you have the rum, sugar and water… which in themselves just sounds like candy, but then… add in lime? What, is this drink trying to bribe me? Everyone knows my stance on limes and how they trump lemon every time. But then just when you think it can’t be more perfect they toss in a mint leaf, which at first you’re like “Whoa… slow down there! How would that help?” but then you taste it and that’s it, there’s nothing else. Thanks a lot, now I have a drinking problem.

I say problem colloquially because I am perfectly fine with this. If they were to replace water boarding with mojito boarding, I don’t think any human right commission would consider that torture.

The first time I had this I was on a beach at a resort in the Caribbean and by the midpoint of my stay, the bartender and server didn’t even ask me for my drink order. Well guess who got more tips after that?

In typical Chewy fashion though, I overdid it – I flew too close to the sun on wings of mint and lime. I didn’t get ill, as is normally how I roll, but instead I just didn’t want to see them anymore. I don’t know if it was too much sun, the lack of food that day or just the last one they served me being a little too rummy for my liking, but I couldn’t stand the sight of it or any other drink for the last day of my vacation. Come to think of it, it was probably that woman who walked by me with a tequila shot. I hate tequila. And who carries a tequila shot around the beach anyways?

Funny thing is, shortly after getting home, the cravings started up again. Even right now I look at a picture of me with one and I can safely say I know what true love is. I might even name my first-born child mojito. That’s legal, right?